Kristi 2.0

In general I am not very festive. I like Halloween because I can use it as an excuse to eat copious amounts of sugar, but I usually opt out of the costuming and revelry that goes with the holiday.

But this year was different.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the person I have become since beginning graduate school. Juggling academics and clinical work has taken a significant toll on me. I have always been a serious student and taken a heavy class load, but my life used to have balance.

In undergrad I worked really hard to excel in my classes, but I found time to hike, dance, rock climb, host game nights, read (fiction!), bake, go to the gym, and practice speaking Italian. When I started grad school I stopped doing almost all of those things. As of now, I haven't taken a dance class in a year and a half. That is the longest break in dancing I have had since I was six. I spent four years learning and perfecting my knowledge of the Italian language, but it has been over 6 months since I have spoken a word of it. And worst of all, as a self-proclaimed book enthusiast, I haven't finished a new piece of fiction in the last 6 weeks.

This year for Halloween I dressed up as Kristi 2.o. At first it was intended to be a joke about how I went as myself but better-groomed (which was true, I even wore make-up and straightened my hair) but it was more than that. Really, Kristi 2.0 is the person I want to be when I don't have to be a graduate student anymore.

When all this madness is over I want to learn how to be myself again.

I am tired of being lame. Nights and weekend should be spent recreating and socializing, like all the gainfully employed people do. They should not be spent practicing my left-handed penmanship or watching trashy television while writing Aphasia midterms, clinic reports or AAC device reviews.

When I graduate and get a job (glory, hallelujah) I am going to spend nights and weekends doing all the things I love that I don't have time for currently, starting with dance, leisure reading and Italian. And when I start to feel like my old self again, I am going to up the ante.

I am going to collect hobbies like some people collect bottlecaps or hotel key-cards.

First, I am going to embrace my Swiss heritage and learn how to play the accordion. That's right, the accordion. I already have a teacher lined up. And once I have progressed to the point where I can play my favorite polka (or at least a decent approximation,) I am going to tackle the cello.

Next, languages. First I am going to learn Spanish (because it is so darn useful I don't think I can avoid it anymore) but then I am going to get crazy with the languages and try my hand at Russian.

In the last week, I have seen two separate individuals reference this particular quote from the book Looking for Alaska by John Green, "If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane."

I think the universe is trying to speak to me.

Right now I am drizzle, but I swear to you, Kristi 2.0 will be a hurricane.



1/9/11 Update: Read more about my quest for self reinvention here.